News... good and bad

So some great news came out of the controversial healthcare reform legislation. The adoption tax credit that was due to sunset after 2010 has been extended, and expanded. Had the 2001 expansion of the credit been allowed to expire the amount would have dropped from $12,170 back to $5,000. The healthcare bill, in the fine print, extended the duration of the credit through 2011. The language in the bill also bumps the credit up to $13,170. This is great news for those of us facing the high costs associated with international adoption. You can read the actual text of the bill here. The adoption credit is covered on the final three pages 903-906, better late than never!



And some awful news. Our good friends Andy and Robin are facing a challenge that no one should ever face. Robin has been diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma. This cancer is particularly aggressive, but is said to respond well to equally aggressive chemotherapy. Less than two weeks ago Robin was preparing to run a half marathon by running 9 miles. Today she's fighting for her life in a nearby hospital. We love these two so much and hope that you'll pray for them as they endure this trial. They've got two of the most amazing kids we know as well, pray for 2 year old Charlotte and her 6 month old brother Spencer through this as well.

Update

Isaac, Erica, Caitlin and I before watching Alice in Wonderland in 3D.

Two weekends ago, Caitlin and Erica came to Dallas for "Sisters' Weekend". We went to the movies, shopped, cooked, relaxed, watched TV and went to church together. I was a little under the weather, but overall we had a great time together!

In adoption news, our social worker has put our remaining interviews on hold until we are evaluated and approved from a licensed marriage and family therapist. Before we can move on with our home study the counselor has to approve our readiness to be good parents by specifically looking at some of the areas we've struggled with in prior years as a married couple. On one hand, we're excited about the idea of going to a professional who can help us strengthen our marriage and prepare us for adoption. We want to do this regardless of it now being a requirement. On the other hand, it's disappointing to be put on hold and difficult in light of all the other delays we've already encountered. As of right now, we're not sure how long we'll be on hold.

We've been informed by our agency, that the lead time from when we turn in our dossier to Rwanda until our referral has gone from a 5 months to a 7-9 month lead time. Basically, we're still a long way out since we've not even completed our home study (which comes before the dossier).

So, we're pressing on as we're reminded to trust in the Lord every step of the way!

This past weekend we spent with three couples from our Community group at a house on Lake Palestine. Although the weather was less than ideal for fishing (it snowed), we had a good time hanging out and watching basketball. We'll have to catch those fish next time. We are certainly ready to enjoy spring here in Dallas, bring on the warm weather.

Drinking from a Fire Hose

Drinking from a fire hose. I think that’s what our home study worker must have felt like on Saturday morning. We met up for a few hours to do our individual interviews with her. I’m fairly certain that she couldn’t have guessed what was coming her way. We told her our story in the most honest and open terms that we could, because in truth it’s not our story, it’s God’s story. In telling it we get to give him the glory for what has been an amazing journey in our marriage. Over the years at different church events or camps I’ve had the chance to listen to people talk about the ways that God’s grace transformed their lives. I always felt a little twinge of jealousy listening to these stories of change – the way that God was so clearly evident in the narrative. The lie I believed at the time, was that I didn’t have the chance to experience this type of grace. After all I wasn’t involved in any number of things that I had heard people talk about over the years, I told myself.

Looking at the journey that Tara and I have been through, it is clear to me that I was wrong – way wrong. Our struggle to find oneness in marriage wasn’t something that we were up to facing on our own. We tried and it was ugly… we tried for months, for years even (the ‘years’ was me, I think Tara was busy changing already- apparently I’m the hardhead here), and we’ve got the friends and community group members who can attest to the struggle. When finally I came to the end of the line, I gave up trying. I didn’t give up – but I gave up doing it my way and I started listening… finally. The days between there and here haven’t all been glorious, many of them were painful – but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. The truth is that if Tara and I had continued to live unchanged lives, there is no chance we’d be where we’re at in our marriage, or this process moving towards adoption. Looking at our experience makes me believe it when James tells us to consider it all joy when we encounter various trials. I think that same truth applies to the ‘trials’ of adoption. It’s easy for me to allow God to become small in my life – it’s easy for me to want to write the story. So I was reminded in the process of recounting all of the things that we’ve been through over the past years to trust God – please pray for us as we try to do just that with our home study, the adoption, and our baby when the time comes.

Home Study Interview #1

Great news! Last night I got a call from Katherine, our newly assigned social worker, and we scheduled our first home study interview on Saturday at the a public library. This first meeting will be individual interviews regarding things like our family history. The second meeting will mostly likely be in the next two weeks at Starbucks where we will be interviewed together on things like our intention for adoption. Then, I believe the third interview will be together at our house. We'll have a minimum of three required meetings, but we may have more. We're super excited to be moving forward in the process!

Good Hair, the movie

Over the weekend we watched "Good Hair" the movie with my little sis, Caitlin, who is spending time with us on her Spring Break.  The movie is entirely about black hair- very educational and eye opening.   I was blown away by the expense of weaves and the high maintenance of it all.  I had no idea it can cost up to $1k to get a weave, which in essence is just extensions of Indian hair sewed on your braided hair.  Can you believe?  

We're still waiting on our newly assigned social worker to contact us and schedule an interview.  We're anxious to get rolling so it's been a little painstaking.  On Wednesday Isaac finished his online Hague adoption training and I'm planning on finishing my assignments up this week.  It's not due until we turn in our dossier but we're trying to get everything checked off our list as possible.

We just keep getting more and more excited about being parents to a baby girl or boy from Rwanda- can't wait!

It’s all good hair

I ordered a few books with the goal of learning about being a parent to a child from Rwanda. While we were in Angelfire a couple weeks back I took the opportunity to read “It’s all good hair.” As a rule, I don’t feel well equipped to do any child’s hair.. let alone hair that I don’t have any experience with. That said I was recently encouraged by a story I read about a Dad in Atlanta, Clifton Green is a finance professor at Emory (he teaches about what I do at work, among other things)… and Dad to a 5 year old little girl from Ethiopia. Clifton sited “It’s all good hair” as a book he read when he was learning about his daughter’s hair. In reading the book I can report that I definitely learned a few things, and will certainly look back through the pages in the years ahead.


So as we go through this process I’ve got a ton of books that I plan to read. I think reading useful books helps me to feel like I’m taking some steps towards our adoption even during the times when we’re feeling ignored or delayed. Of course the truth is that although I’ll likely offer to help as much as I can with stuff like our children’s hairstyles, I’m pretty sure that my incredibly stylish wife will have that area of parenting all wrapped up. Tara meanwhile is reading “Boundaries with Kids” a parallel book to one we read while working to take our marriage from something we were enduring, to something we cherish. I’m next in line to read that one I’m sure its full of great advice. I’d love to hear about what others have read and found useful in their journey towards adoption from Rwanda (or elsewhere). Oh also on the agenda for Tara and I – Chris Rock’s ‘Good Hair’, I’ve heard that its enlightening as well as entertaining, we’ll queue that up for a movie night sometime soon.

We had a great weekend, yesterday we were able to go to the Dallas performance of the “Spirit of Uganda” tour, I’ll let Tara tell you about the show and the organization in another post – but it was outstanding. We’ll be hoping to hear from our new social worker this week, friends keep asking us if we’re making any progress in the adoption – my latest answer is, “yes we’re taking steps, baby steps” Hopefully we’ll have something more substantive to report soon.