Through this trial, God is good!

I don’t know that I’ve ever wanted something so badly.  I want more than anything to meet our child and take them home.  I’m trying to surrender my plans daily to God because I want to trust in His timing and in His direction for building our family.   

I read in my morning’s devotional: 

“Sometimes it is hard to accept that God can bring about His purposes through our trials. It is hard to see past our circumstances to a future that, for us, doesn’t exist yet. But God is not constrained by time. He is not reined in by our circumstances. Because of this, we have to trust that our limited perspective simply can not process His higher purpose….’Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all the benefits’ (Psalms 103:2a).” 

I have to remind myself not to forget what the Lord has already done in my life (and even through this wait), and therefore I can trust in him for the future.  The truth is that He is faithful and good no matter my circumstances!   

The Healey/Walthall/Kohlbacher Clan in Edmond

Visiting Marc, Kayan, Adalae and Roman in Austin

  

God's Peace

Last week we traveled to Houston to visit Kendall and Kyle (Isaac's cousin) as well as Mammy and Pappy (Isaac's grandparents).  We had a fabulous time eating fabulous food, drinking great wine, getting spoiled at the mall, and just all-around great fellowship.  When we returned from the weekend we attended the SMU Christmas lighting with our community group, which was really festive and fun.  Overall it was a picture perfect weekend!  

Yesterday I had two things that really lifted my spirits.  In the morning I met with Chelsea Jacobs, who is also in the adoption line with us, for coffee.  I can not describe how therapeutic it is to meet with adoption couples who are also in the wait for a Rwandan baby.  We share some similar heartaches, prayers, desires, frustrations, etc.  Then, in the evening we chatted on Skype with Marc Simpao and their precious little boy Roman from Rwanda who they just adopted a few weeks ago.  We love their family and we're excited to go visit them around Christmas.  

Last night my dad encouraged me with this verse of God's promise:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 4:6-7

I'm so tired of being sensitive, hurt, angry, jealous and anxious- all of which do not come from the Lord (not to mention distracting and exhausting).  I've been at a spot where I started to get tired of praying- mostly out of disappointment.  I felt like God knew my heart and how much I wanted a child, but this verse really encouraged me.  So now as I'm praying for our child to come soon, I'm also praying for God's peace.  I'm back to trusting in God's plan and not my own.  I'm sure this will waver in time but it's nice for the moment to feel God's peace.  

(Tomorrow we'll have been DTR for 3 months.  Not that it matters since we don't have an estimation of the time line... just saying.  And I'll also say that it feels like a lot longer than 3 months!)