Expectations

So while in Austin last week I started to finally process the numbers and they didn’t make any sense.  Through the grapevine we’ve heard there are currently 90 dossiers in Rwanda waiting to be processed (this information was not from AWAA).  We, sadly, are still waiting on our I-171H form until we can complete our dossier, so we’re not even in that numbered line yet!   Historically we've seen that 17 adoptions were completed in 2008, 16 in 2009, and only six thus far in 2010.  Given the large number already waiting ahead of us would suggest a much longer time frame than we're being advised which is now nine to eleven months.  That lead time is from the DTR (Dossier to Rwanda) until our Referral (which is when they email you with an assigned child).  I heard this new lead time for the first time yesterday because I missed the last conference call when they announced it.   Before yesterday I was thinking the lead time was six to nine months and when we started the program we thought it was four to six months.

Up until this point I wanted to believe and trust AWAA that their prediction was accurate.  I wanted to believe that the numbers I was putting together weren’t right and that AWAA knew something that I didn’t.  So when I heard this new time frame yesterday I didn’t like what I was being told.   Now, I had double bad news- I had to wait a long time (the agencies prediction) or possibly even a longer time (my prediction based on numbers).   Yesterday I was reminded  by the agency that we’ve been told  from the beginning of the process that these are only predictions and with international adoption, and also with being a new program, there will undoubtedly be bumps along the way, delays, and frustrations.  

I want to have accurate expectations of the process and trust God fully, but yesterday I hit a wall and felt so frustrated and depressed.   I’m disappointed- and there is no denying that!   I just had to let myself grieve yesterday.  There is nothing I can do at this point except to seek and trust Christ, but I’m going to need his help.

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12: 8-10

     

Austin

I had an amazing five days in Austin last week! My best friend, Missy, and I drove to Austin on Wednesday to prepare for the Seed Effect fundraiser on Thursday. God showed up in some amazing ways! Here were some of the highlights:

1. Missy and I had breakfast with Kayan, who is a great adoption friend. I'm super grateful for her friendship, wisdom, and support!

2. God revealed himself through Esmeralda- It was truly a God moment! Read the story on Missy's blog

3. Seed Effect had a fabulous event with over 50 people in attendance!

4. I reconnected with my cousin, JW, who I hadn't seen in over four years!

5. God spoke to me so clearly with Romans 14. If I'm being totally transparent, I've been really struggling with judgement on people having biological children verses adopting. But when I came across Romans 14 it was such an "ah-ha" moment!

6. I met the neatest people in Austin- so many incredible mission-minded people!

7. Chilled at the lake with new and old wonderful friends!

40 Days

It has been 40 days since Tara and I completed our fingerprint appointments for the USCIS 171h approval. We had really hoped/planned to have our Dossier already on its way to Washington by now. Throughout the entire process of adoption I am constantly reminded of my weaknesses. There is no control during adoption, there is no logic or reason, there is no efficiency, there is nothing easy. There is only faith and hope.

On this fortieth day of waiting I'm reminded of the many examples of 'after 40 days' in the Bible. How must Jesus have felt after 40 days of fasting? What about Noah after 40 days inside the darkness of the ark? What kind of frustration did the Israelites army experience after 40 days of taunting from Goliath? What can I learn from this most recent 'after 40 days' in my life?



I spoke with the new national benefits center (really you just get to talk with one of a few different call center people) once again this morning. No new news from them, our file is still in Missouri and still hasn't been assigned an agent to look at it. I've become concerned that our health documents are going to be too old once we get the ball rolling again. Following the blogs of couples going through the same adoption process can be both very supportive but also at times challenging. Yesterday we learned that another couple (the Vanderpool's) who are near us in the process were fortunate to receive their approval only 11 days after completing their fingerprint appointment. Hoping we'll hear something soon.

What's in a "Dossier"?

Here is a list of what is required for our “dossier” in case you were curious:

· Home Study (certified)
· Application Letter (certified)
· Declaration of Intent Letter- Husband (certified)
· Declaration of Intent Letter-Wife (certified)
· Family Composition Letter (certified)
· Copy of Passport-Husband (certified)
· Copy of Passport-Wife (certified)
· Marriage Certificate (certified)
· Birth Certificate- Husband (certified)
· Birth Certificate- Wife (certified)
· Wage & Tax Statement (W2) (certified)
· Financial Statement (certified)
· Police Report- Husband (certified)
· Police Report- Wife (certified)
· Proof of Medical Insurance (certified)
· Medical Form (< 2 Months Old)- Husband (certified)
· Medical Form (< 2 Months Old)- Wife (certified)
· Guardianship Letter (certified)
· Power of Attorney Form (certified)
· USCIS I-171H Approval (certified)
· Family Photo Pages*

*2 full-faced photos of the two of us, 4 photos reflecting our life, 1 photo of the outside of our home, and 1 photo of the inside of our home

All the documents have to be originals with exception of the I-171H, proof of health insurance, passport copies, and the W2/tax forms which are notarized under a “Notarized Copy of an Original” form.

We have to mail in two copies of everything listed above which is our full dossier. Lastly, we will include once copy of our Hague Certificates (online training course) and our Agency Post Placement Agreement.

Once we submit our dossier to our agency, America World, this is what happens:

1. Dossier receives two staff checks.

2. Dossier is taken to the State Department and the Rwandan Embassy for additional authentication.

3. Dossier is sent to Rwanda with 2-4 weeks of arriving at AWAA.

a. The DTR (Dossier to Rwanda) date will be disclosed to families with an email from a family coordinator that includes a Fed Ex tracking # for the dossier's journey to Rwanda.

b. Our wait begins! Right now our agency is estimating this will be 7-9 months. (When we started in January it was only 4-6 months from this point.)

These are just some of the pictures we included in our family photo pages:

Us in Kajo Keji, Sudan for a mission trip (November 2009)

Us with Isaac’s Grandparents, his cousin Kyle and Kyle’s wife, Kendall, in Houston (December 2009)

Tara’s Family: (Left to Right) Chase and Erica Healey, Us, Caitlin Walthall,

Claudia and Gary Walthall after church (Christmas 2009)

Isaac with some friends: baby Smith, Charlie, Shelby and Jason, after breakfast in Tulsa, OK (April 2010)

Tara with her best friend, Missy, at a party in Missy’s home (January 2010)

Nursery Painting Complete!

Grandpa Gary, also known as Papou (which means grandpa in Greek), gave us the best gift ever by painting baby Kohlbacher's room!   After three days of my dad's blood (really just lots of blood flowing), sweat (this was no easy task), and tears (the tears actually came from me out of thankfulness)... the painting is completed and I absolutely love it!  We couldn't be more thankful to my dad for his labor of love!  

The next step on the nursery is figuring out the floors.  The next step on the adoption front is still waiting on our dumb form from the USCIS before we can get all our documents certified in Austin.  At that point we'll be completed with our dossier and from there we'll wait approximately 7 to 9 months.    

Nursery Sneak Peek

My sweet, sweet dad is in town painting our nursery for us.  After one of three days it's looking fabulous!  Of course, I have a "complicated order" (watch Bon Qui Qui on You Tube if you haven't already- hilarious)!   

He's painting...

• white on the walls and ceiling,
• black chalkboard paint on one wall, 
• white on the all the trim including the shutters, baseboards, doors and the woodwork inside the closet and 
• 7" yellow stripes on the ceiling.  

I know, can you believe?  Many, many thanks to my sweet, sweet dad and all his work!

Here is a small sneak peek into what's to come after the painting is complete:

Crib Bedding Fabric + Glider and Ottoman Fabric + 

Carpet FLOR Tiles

   

A Special Cool Thursday

One of our favorite things to do is attend "Cool Thursdays", a concert series on Thursday nights at the Dallas Arboretum.  This week my parents came with us and we had an absolute blast!  We had perfect seats with a great view and a nice breeze, and "Le Freak", the disco band for the night, was so entertaining!

But the highlight of the night was the adorable African girl in the crowd.  She is approximately 7-8 years old and she and two other white girlfriends around her age were dancing with the crowd near the stage.  We could not keep our eyes off that adorable girl!   She had the cutest dance moves, cutest hair, cutest... everything!  I think all four of us weren't just watching her intently because she was cute, but also it was a visual of what our child could look like physically and also how our black child would adjust, fit-in, and look in a white environment.

As we were watching/stalking her she made her way up to the front of the stage.  She stretched her arm out really stiff towards the singer who was scanning the crowd and every once in a while slapping people's hands in a high-five.  She waited for a few minutes really patiently- not waving it, just keeping it really straight with her fingers all together and alternating arms when one got tired.  Finally the singer in the middle of his up-beat disco song grasped on to her hand and held it for a few seconds.  When he let go she looked to her friends with her mouth open and started jumping up and down- she was so happy!  The minute he held her hand I unexpectedly started crying.  I couldn't believe I was crying, but I look to my left and my mom is also crying! ... And we can't stop!  My mom can barely talk because she can't get herself together, but she articulated for us that it was so symbolic of our precious African child with outstretched arms just patiently waiting for us.

Well, after that incident we tried to keep our eyes off of her because we couldn't do so without crying again.  At the end of the night we briefly met the girl's mom who informed us she adopted her from Ethiopia.  It was such a neat encouragement that other families in our community have/are adopting from Africa- I love that!

We're certain it was by NO mistake that girl was in front of us at Cool Thursday- that was God!  

 

Changes at the USCIS

So as we're getting ready for the long holiday weekend another week has passed without much progress (at least as far as we can tell). I spoke with the nice people at the USCIS on Tuesday (877.424.8374) and got a better idea about what timeline we're on. We received notice of receipt for our I-600A on June 7th, but due to some structural changes for the processing of these forms we're once again delayed. They are consolidating the process into one central processing facility from the regional centers located around the country. The new operations will be out of Missouri (where the guy I spoke with was located). I was told that our documents were still in Dallas, but his system showed that they were due to be mailed on July 1st (yesterday). I am going to call again on Tuesday to check on the status. We had hoped that we might receive our I-171h by this week, but it looks like we're at least another couple weeks out. Hopefully once our stuff gets to Missouri the process goes quickly. We're ready to get the Dossier on its way!