Thanksgiving Weekend

We had a great Thanksgiving weekend with Caitlin, Erica and Chase!  Ever since my parents have lived overseas we've made it a new tradition to run the Turkey Trot and then eat lunch at Luby's with the blue hairs.  Over the long weekend we participated in Black Friday shopping, went to see the movie "Morning Glory", cooked, and rested. 

Before the Turkey Trot

A cold and cloudy race day in Dallas

Running the race

Feelin' good after the race

Lunch at Luby's

Chase and Riese relaxing

The resting part of the holiday was great, but on the flip side, it puts my sadness of our adoption timeline to the forefront of my thoughts.   

On January 1st we'll have been in the adoption process for 1 year!  When we began the process we thought that maybe at most it would take a year and a half total, but here we are today knowing that they will have processed only 20 adoptions total in 2010.  If we do the math, and assuming they pick up a little speed, we are talking about a 5 year wait from now which makes me totally nauseated!  It will be a miracle if we have our baby any sooner.  

What is so maddening about the process is that it's a roller coaster- all of which seems to be going downhill fast.  Throughout the processs we keep hearing news of encouragement- sad part is, it's unreliable.  It's really hard to be told "things are going to speed up", "the wait will be 4-6 months", "they are going to process one dossier per day" and so you're on this high, and then weeks and months pass and it doesn't happen and there is so much disappointment.  The problem I have is I want to believe all the good news.  I wish I could just count on the worst and so I would be happy with anything else, but it's difficult to do when you're praying for a miracle and waiting on a child that you know God has planned for you.  This is so hard!

A Short Film

Last year, I set a new goal to consistently put myself in situations that are not comfortable and that make me depend on God to come through. After making this goal, Isaac and I were asked to go to Sudan with e3 Partners on a mission trip, and so we signed up. As we prepared for the trip, God really used this time to draw both of us closer to Himself. While in Sudan we shared the Gospel and disciple new believers.

Part of my struggle while there was battling my insecurity and again wanting to perform perfectly in order to not fail God, but what became apparent was I was trying to do it on my own and not surrendering it to God. Come to find out, despite my imperfect delivery, he still could use it for his glory. I learned that I had to become small before God could become big.

While in Sudan, Isaac led us extremely well. Both of us were looking towards Christ for our security, love, and guidance, rather than looking at one another, and as a result we felt incredibly in-sync. God not only used this trip to bring us closer to him and one another, but he used our testimony in our marriage and in our lives to reach others.

This short film documented our experience before, during and after our trip:

http://www.e3partners.org/Page.aspx?pid=2940

It was in Africa that God began pressing upon our hearts a desire and a call to adopt a child from Africa. We had been trying to start a family for a short time, but it become obvious that God wanted us to pursue adoption. We are so thankful to Christ who has adopted us into his heavenly family, and the process of adoption to a child that is parentless is one way we can show his love on earth; however, adoption to us is more than rescuing a child from an orphanage, but it’s doing what Christ did for us. While we were sinners God sent his only Son to redeem us from our sins so that we might receive adoption as God’s sons and daughters.

I'm so grateful for our trip to Sudan!  God showed up in amazing ways and we'll never be the same...

PS.  I absolutely love the new song, "Dancing in the Minefields" that we've now linked to our blog.  I dedicate it to Isaac.  "It has been harder than we dreamed, but that's what the promise is for.... So, let's go dancing in the minefields." 

The Wait

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14 (NLT)

Waiting: a virtue I aspire to obtain but often fail to achieve.

In our gotta-have-it-now culture, I have been so brain-washed into thinking there is something wrong with waiting and I shouldn't have to do it. For example, if I want to talk to my parents in Bangkok I Skype them. And if I want a new dress I order it online with a click of a button. It's no wonder I believe waiting is hard to do! I've become so productive and efficient focused that I often fail to slow down, rest, listen, and trust in God's perfect timing.

David, author of the verse above, was God's chosen king for Israel and he knew a thing or two about waiting! Scripture tell us the Spirit of God rushed over David and was with him the remainder of his days (1 Samuel 16:13). But instead of David going directly to his throne he went back to his pasture to do his job as a shepherd where the waiting began!

In his wait, God prepared David for his seat on the throne. Instead of taking the position he was promised David waited for God to move him from the pasture to the palace as he prepared him. In the wait, God made David ready for the move.

My prayer is that Isaac and I, like David, can find hope in the difficulty of waiting! I'm trying to focus on the truth that waiting in the present is beneficial to our future. I read the other day that "Waiting is less difficult and the future is brighter when we let God to do His work in our waiting season. When we let our guard and defenses down He proves Himself faithful to bring His plans for our lives to fullness.

For those of you who are curious, the Rwanda Ministry is still working on adoption #4, #6 and #8, who received approvals at the beginning of October, but they still haven't received referrals. We're approximately #138 (this hasn't been confirmed) and they've been working on #1 through #8 since January. I think it's going to be quite a wait...