I can’t tell you how many times while lying in bed at night or while getting ready in the morning I’ve thought about posting between now and the last time I wrote. Some days I’ve wanted to tell you how painful the wait is; Other days I’ve wanted to give you an update on news I’ve heard about Rwanda approvals or referrals coming through; Or sometimes I’ve wanted to tell you how much I’m learning about God and myself in the wait. But anyway, here I am.
Currently I’m feeling really at peace in the midst of what I like to call my “storm”. We’ve recently been seeing a wave of approvals and referrals out of Rwanda and we have reason to believe they are going to continue at this pace over the next few months. It’s like we’re seeing a light at the end of a tunnel (even though we really have no concrete information on timing or even a guarantee that we’ll be approved). So, it’s a small light, but it’s a light!
The Serenity Prayer has become extra meaningful to me over the last few weeks as every line seems to scream of where I’m at and what I need. It’s my “cry” to God if you will.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen
Although I really don’t understand a lot about this hardship, I do know that if I surrender to God’s will He will make all things right. I have to surrender my timing of having a child. Besides, life isn’t something we can give. Only God is the author of life. So while my circumstances sometimes seem unfair I’m reminded that I can only expect to be reasonably happy in this life. Thankfully, because I’ve trusted in Jesus with my life, I will live with Him forever in the next life…where there will be no more tears (Isaiah 25:8).
2 comments:
Oh girl...you have a way with words. This is such a wonderful explanation of what it feels like...and I feel bad even typing that out because I know I haven't waited as long...but mercy, that is how it feels. Every bit of this post is incredible. Thank you for sharing and know that you are not alone. I really want to share this with some of my girls in my waiting mom's coffee group. Is your blog still private?
Thanks, Molly! You're so sweet! Unfortunately it's still private, but you're welcome to share it if you can/want. Anyone that wants access is welcome- I just need their email address.
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